My Blog

lAst wEek waS One of mY mOst mEmOrabLe weEks eVer. kaSi nAmaN, it wAs mY fiRst timE tO pLaY pAintBalL! aNd whAt mAkeS it mOre SpEciAL iS tHAt i GOt tO pLay It wiTh my Tuti ClassmAtEs! ComPleTe nA saNA kAmi nA bOys, Ala laNg si Bj. PerO i tOtaLly EnjOyEd it! KAhit TalO ung tEam NamiN (uNdeR tHe LeaDErsHip Of JerPhy, HeheHe) PerO ok LAnG, EnJOy pArin. exPected q Na riN na TAlO kaMi. HeHEhE. TapOs aftEr nuN nagOvernyt Pa kAmi Ni BeRn aNd JerP KiNa JOshUa! LiNgAwa Ui!. TNx DiaY jOsh! HaAy, SaNa MaGAwa pA NAmiN AnG mGA ganitONg BAgaY sA thiRd yEAr! PerO hiRaP na iPAsoK sa SchEdUle! HoOOoHh! StaRt nA talAga Ng KalBarYo! GOoD LucK!

not a single day passes without me thinking whether life is fair. yup, that is right. I AM TIRED. im tired of being insecure with people, worst of all, my friends. i hate it. it kills me like poison running through my veins. Im scared of loosing my sanity. why do people seem to be fucking perfect?! why am i always left out?! why?!! and why do i always have to settle as the laughing stock of the class just for me to fit in?! why do i have to make a fool out of myself just for me to be liked?! "oh roscoe, you’re so funny, oh roscoe you make me laugh! oh roscoe YOU ARE A FOOL!!!" oh shut up! is it really my fault that i tolerated such things? shame on me for that, but anyone one who has a better idea on how to respond to situations like this, please im dying to hear it. i also just want to be liked because i’m smart, or because i look good or because i’m a fucking hero or something! but it seems very hard for me to change people’s view about me. Im always compared to a big fat funny person who doesn’t have a care in this world, but guess what, I DO CARE! i’ve tried so hard to make my self look freaking great to others and i’ve worked my ass off just to loose 56 big pounds but it seems like all my efforts always fall short. how come? MY inside is screaming for help, for a time out but it always ends up like a whisper to everyone’s ear. CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?!!!. . .

i am tired. . . i had enough. . .